Bob's Burgers Season 10, Episode 5 Review - Mall One: A Belcher Story | yahoo201027's Bob's Burgers Reviews
Back from a week’s break following the Halloween episode. Hope everyone had a good Halloween or at least a week’s break and also...guess I’m putting this into the intro, congratulations to the Washington Nationals on winning your first World Series title. Even though you used to be a team from Montreal and that city won’t forgive what MLB did back in 1994 with the strike. So there’s that. Bob’s Burgers...we back with this week’s episode at the mall of all places. Oh right, young people read this. Malls are like stores that are not on your computer or phone and where people socialize. Malls are dying, just putting it out there.
In this week’s episode of Bob’s Burgers, hijinks ensue for each of the members of the Belcher family from Tina pretending to have a boyfriend to Linda invading an open book club, to Louise and Gene on the animal mobile, all the way to Bob going pants shopping and ending up encountered with an unlikely individual in my spoilerific review of the Fifth Episode of Season 10, titled “Legends of the Mall”.
First episode back from a week’s break and...it was an alright episode. There were some minor problems with it, emphasis on the word “minor”, coming from the two plots from two members of the Belcher family, which will kick off this review just hoping for this wound to heal up fast as you can say...getting your hands on a Popeye’s chicken sandwich, heard that it came back in time for this episode, you bet your damn bippy it is. The Gene and Louise one does almost seems felt like it was going nowhere despite it turns into a slow speed chase with Gene having trouble stopping his ride across the mall and of course, the ending of that plot with Gene hugging Louise...bless. Same goes for the Bob plot when it comes to the whole pants shopping thing but somehow this has to the fave out of the four courtesy of his sudden bromance with Sergeant Bosco, so that was something to watch over for what might as well be an okay episode. Not that bad but not the good, somewhere around the middle as the Belchers separate to do their own thing as their own plots begin to take place like with...not technically with “Bob Actually” with the different plots but...still, might as well be like that with this review.
We begin with Tina’s side of the episode because salt in the wound with her meeting up with both Tammy and Jocelyn who are currently looking at the mall’s directory with a setup change with makeup and different clothes that’s pretty much there for decoration and telling them that she’s getting some mall dolls as she describes it. Mall dolls of course, meaning getting boys. Cue the reaction and alcohol from that slice of the pie of a certain Tina ship because it looks like they’re gonna need it as the review goes on. Tammy and Jocelyn gloat over Tina’s decision to get some game into her while at the mall because according to them, she has none of that. But that’s not going to stop Tina from getting that action of her own and she tries that when trying to meet up with every boy at the mall whether if it’s over at the escalator, in which she heads down but when seeing the boy going up, she tries to go up as well...in an escalator that is going down. Second floor at the mall with a drink in her hand when seeing one random boy on the first floor, in which she accidentally spilled her drink, thus landing on him and making him wet cover in soda. And even to the glasses store with one guy looking at the glass full of lens with Tina trying to impress the guy by putting on sunglasses...in which she ends up get choked by the price tag. And we’re only a few minutes into the episode, so it looks like we’re going to be here for a massive while. Better grab a drink.
Tina’s conquest to find her man of the week leads her to looking at that one guy stretching, in Tina’s view, his butt, with him talking to his friends by the bench looking like he’s about to pass out, mostly coming out from soccer practice in the morning and forced to go to a pet store despite his allergies and of course, decided to sit on the bench and fall asleep as two of his friends head out to do their own things, mostly getting some smoothies, and thus enter Tina for the kill and ends up sit next to him as he takes a nap on the bench. And Tina tried to make a move or two but of course, unable to do so due to him still sleeping. Man, all of those things that he have ever done throughout the day really tired himself out to be put in full sleep mode like a car after an all-day drive from one state border to another or a phone after feeling either the CPU or battery heating up and thus slowing it down. That or the battery reached like below 10% of usage and in need of a charge. Tina was about to get up and continue her quest to find some boys until all of a sudden...
His head landed on Tina’s shoulder, thus enter the security guard, Yuli, telling Tina that he’s not supposed to be sleeping, thinking that the sleepy boy here is Tina’s boyfriend, even though Tina tried to tell him that he’s not her boyfriend. But here enter two of that boy’s friends, by the way, the guy’s name is Brian and these two, one boy named Noah and one girl name Skye, think that Tina is Brian’s new girlfriend and Tina tried to tell them that he’s not his girlfriend but when both Tammy and Jocelyn comes into play and surprised that Tina scored a “mall doll” in Brian, thinking that she somehow scored some mall game and would want to say that truth but ends up accepting this charade and play along with the idea of her being Brian’s girlfriend. I mean yeah, you could say that she might’ve pressure herself into buying the whole thing just to rub it onto both Tammy and Jocelyn’s faces but...I swear that the whole Tina relationship and finding her man that may or may not be named Jimmy Jr is going to end being the main cause of climate change.
So Tina is being questioned by two of Brian’s friends from how they met to well...everything else and Tina is playing what every politician is doing when being hit by a hard question that may turn into a massive gotcha like a rat trap ready to be dropped onto the target but Tina got out of it that quickly and dodged it with a perfectly get out of dodge question to make sure that this whole charade doesn’t fall apart like a Jenga tower after making one false move. Tammy and Jocelyn, they tried. Theeeey tried on trying to one up Tina following this whole thing by bringing in their own boy toys...in the form of two boys that they found at the arcade and if you think that they’re eighth graders like they are?
Nope, They’re twelve going into thirteen. I think one of them say he has to hit twelve first. So...they found seventh graders. Not seventh graders excuse me, almost looks like they found sixth graders. Two sixth graders. I mean...they tried to one up Tina when it comes to having a boyfriend but...wow, this...this is just sad. Like imagining in their heads thinking to themselves like “Holy crap, can’t believe I’m losing to Tina. Of all the people I would imagine being one upped by and it’s Tina Freaking Belcher.” This is straight up damage control right now, my guy. Like watching your team collapsing in front of your eyes in the biggest game of the year type of damage control. So once Tammy and Jocelyn exit stage left once again from Tina, Noah, Skye, and a sleepy Brian...
They take selfies with his phone like this whole charade or BS and everything seems to be going fine for Tina when accepting this whole thing with pretending to be this guy’s girlfriend and you may think that Tina might be having the time of her life at the mall while her parents and siblings deal with hijinks and chaos of their own, except that this is a sitcom and you think that she would enjoy the rest of the day until the call to go home come up, well...you already know where this is going when things begin to fall apart when out of the blue, Brian’s phone got a message and found out that the message was sent from someone named Amanda, who happened to be Brian’s actual girlfriend. And you think that the jig is up and Tina would be considered called out that she’s not actually Brian’s girlfriend and would be possibly be labeled as a liar (and possibly stalker as well) but instead of all that, Noah and Skye think that Tina’s the victim and thinking that Brian is nothing more than a “playa” and thinks that Tina is being cheated on.
Thus once Brian wakes up from his nap, he ends up being put into the hot seat following that little message and being accused of being a two-timer and a playa or what Linda would say back in Season 2 when thinking that Bob is cheating with Gayle even though she was going after him, a hurtful slut. And it’s not just both Noah and Skye who got upset over the accusation of Brian having two girlfriends in Tina and this Amanda person, Yuli as well get into the drama and even thinking about threaten to spray him with a water spray thing people use on cats to get them to behave or exit out of their property. And yeah...things aren’t looking good for Brian here following his nap thanks to Tina. And this isn’t pretty much his day after all for the poor guy. From a long morning with soccer practice to going to the pet store despite his allergies and now being called a cheater not knowing that Tina was there next to him while he was asleep. Tina tried to fix the damages that she caused but it end up making matters worse with Noah, Skye, and Yuli to think that she’s the victim of all this even though she’s the one who started this. So she need to find something to end this charade once and for all, or rather...someone(s) in the form of two people.
Two people being Tammy and Jocelyn, who after trying to one up Tina when it comes to having a boyfriend, hoping that with them being present, would put away the whole thing before things go from terribly bad to terribly worse for Brian. And of course, these two end up being the final nail of the coffin when it comes to Tina’s attempt to make sure this whole thing with Brian and somehow it works in Tina’s favor, mostly when it comes to Tina’s choices when it comes to whoever her type is and thus, putting this whole mess into an end with everyone accepting Tina’s so-called apology and of course, upset with Tina over her lying about the whole thing. Though Tammy and Jocelyn, despite hanging out with two 11-year olds from the nearby arcade, declare defeat and thinks that she does have some mall after all, taking back what she said earlier in the episode and thus ending Tina’s side of the episode.
Onto Linda’s side of the episode, since this is the shortest of the bunch, as she and Bob are heading down to a clothing shop in hopes to get Bob some new pants even though he is not too much of a fan of pants shopping, which we’ll get to him later on in the episode, where she spotted something over at a book store about an open book club with the author of a book present in the place and decided to jump in but Bob don’t want to be alone when dealing with the whole buying new pants process but Linda trusts Bob into doing things on his own, especially pants shopping, and with that, Linda separates herself from Bob and thus her chaos ensues.
Onto the storytelling currently in process, we have the author of the book telling it all, currently at the middle of the book I supposed, building up the tension for storytelling, putting people into full on suspense mode, only for Linda to hiccup as the suspense was building up. And hiccup. And hiccup. And hiccup as the author tries to get to the point where the suspense reached it’s boiling point. We all remember story time back in elementary school where the reader read some random book whenever you go to the library and there has to be that one person in the group who can disrupt the whole thing whether if it’s hiccups or farts or with smartphones now a part of our lives...a notification or ringtone interrupting the whole process. Yeah, that pretty much sums up Linda’s hiccups interrupting the author from building up suspense during the live read of the book.
Onto to the book signing we go with Linda ready to have her copy ready to be signed by the author and just as she is about to have her signature ready to go, the one thing you don’t do when after going through a live reading of a book or script or whatever in any form of media or watching a movie or TV show that is widely popular when it comes to the storytelling. Which is of course, spoil anything important or rather the ending of the goddamn thing. That’s pretty much rule number one when it comes to the world of entertainment. There’s a reason why I have put a spoiler alert in these reviews. Now everyone have to worry come next month once the new Star Wars come out or possibly already spoiled from movies from before whether if it’s The Avengers with Endgame or DC recently with the Joker movie or hell, recently with the Steven Universe movie. Either way, you don’t spoil shit unless you want to be labeled as a “dickhead.” And Linda knew that it was the groundskeeper...in just one chapter. ONE chapter. The equivalent of finding out that this character will die by the end because of a flashback in the middle or even before a massive battle. That in the entertainment world is called the “Death by Flashback” trope. And thus, Linda’s little oopsie spoiling the whole thing cost the author some money and possibly reputation. But Linda did get her signature...in the form of him telling her to not come near her for future events. At least Linda got her thing, so that’s something. Seems like a time waster. Seems like it went by so fast but again, ripping the band-aid off. So that’s two down. Two more to go. And remember kids, don’t be like Linda and ruin everyone’s experiences with a spoiler.
And then we get to Gene and Louise with their side of the episode as the two march around the area, Louise spotted a spot of animal rides and decided to have some fun with the riding machines and spent their money for the day by hitching a ride per person and per animal with Louise riding on the purple horse...rhino thing. Like if a horse and a rhino had intercourse in Noah’s Ark and thus, this is the byproduct of the thing that Louise will be riding. Gene is no exception; his ride happens to be a green cat that has an alligator snout attached to its face. Well the two youngest Belchers are ready to set off to do their thing with their animal machine rides but of course, there has to be certain set of rules. Rules being that they’re not allowed to race, or drag race, or go all Fast and Furious minus the whole...action thing or whatever, but knowing the Belcher kids, mostly Louise, her and rules don’t get along like...well anything really in particular as long as it doesn’t...I don’t know, kills you?
Onto the next scene with Gene and Louise enjoying their time on the animal riding machines and of course, like I said, Louise and rules don’t get along and they did race though the speed of those things probably go like...under 5 miles per hour (or 8 kilometers per hour in the rest of the world), and just they’re about to call it a day and sending their rides back to the place that they got it from, there may be a bit of an issue with Gene’s ride because out of the blue, just as anything bad is happening to the Gene Bean here isn’t enough, he got eliminated from the Semifinals in the 2019 Battle of the Week Voting Tournament against Gary Goodspeed from Final Space if follow on my pages with the whole thing, Gary now in the Finals, putting Gene in the Third Place Match, he is unable to press the brakes on his machine due to the button being mashed. Don’t know if the button was due to Gene mashing it while in use or didn’t even noticed that it was mashed before Gene was able to use it? But either way, Gene can’t stop his ride and ends up taking a road to a point of no return, or no pit stop as Louise now begins to trail him and trying to calm him down.
And when the two pass through the mall, store after store after store, hoping that Gene doesn’t ran over people like bowling pins, and while Louise tries to keep up with his brother on the loose with his animal ride, Gene, who was uncomfortable with the idea of riding on one of these rides earlier in the episode, begins to feel...well he’s still uncomfortable but he now got to see the side of the mall that he hasn’t seen before. Kind of like with stuff that you don’t like at first only to end up enjoying it. Like food or sports or anything that I hope that isn’t doing something illegal. Don’t want to be barred responsible for something that I haven’t even said.
Louise ends up going back to the spot where both her and Gene got their animal rides and asking the guy about what to do if there were ever an event of one of the rides somehow malfunctions when it comes to the brakes and unable to stop. And of course, Louise has to make sure to get out of trouble by turning it into a what if scenario, even though past shows when it comes to that pretty much turns into reality, and the guy told Louise that if the event were to happen, not noticing that it’s already happening to Gene, only way to stop it is to cut the wire...which is located under the ride. Stuffed inside through a lot of fur...while ongoing. This is now pretty much the equivalent of a what a rookie coming out from training camp do when cutting the wire bomb in a middle of a crime scene like you see in movies or TV shows or rather since this is now turned into a slow speed chase, installing spike strips to pop the tires to stop the person driving who hijacked a car.
She’s now back with Gene with his runaway animal ride machine and now ready to know what she is supposed to do when it comes to stopping the whole thing by ditching her ride and jumps into Gene’s as his ride is now heading towards the nearby porcelain shop at the mall with her tying her ears so that it doesn’t fall off and head down under with Gene holding her legs so that she doesn’t fall during the whole thing. And although this is a slow chase, like a very, slow chase, they really have to add the dramatic flair into this. Even though Gene is heading towards the porcelain shop with the owner of the shop now in full on panic mode, worrying over the fact that his ride could destroy the items. Pulling out the knife, a plastic one of course, gotta keep it PG for the kiddos that somehow watch this show for some reason, cutting through the fake fur and open it like it’s Han Solo opening up a tauntaun to put Luke in, suffering from hypothermia following his escape from being that snow monster’s dinner, spotted the wire and begins to cut it with the plastic knife as Gene’s little ride now about to enter the store with the owner of the place attempts to block it with a T-pose, I’m not making that shit up, with the clock now ticking as the porcelains, one of them in the direct target of Gene’s cat-alligator abomination of a ride, Louise is now on the clock in which she did finally cut the wire that make the machine go and stop just as it was about to tip the item. At least it’s not a porcelain baby because that would automatically get Linda her senses out. But besides all that, Louise stopped the ride in time and at the last possible minute and exhausted herself from all that pressure and of course...just putting it out there...
That sibling hug though. Do remember that time back in 2016 with “Large Brother, Where Fart Thou?” when Louise hugged Gene when he protected her from Logan from using the Norwegian Pit Stank onto her and he ends up taking her place instead. Well, here we are again where this time around, it’s Gene who hugs Louise after stopping his ride from hitting that one porcelain item on the table. So that was something from this side of the episode despite that it almost seems like it was going nowhere with Louise and Gene with their rides. And now, last but not least, we get to Bob’s side of the episode and with Linda, no kids on his side when going pants shopping...
Yeah, it looks like it’s all him and him alone when it comes to buying some new slacks. Don’t worry, like with Tina’s glasses earlier in the season, it won’t be going anywhere at any time. So Bob was looking some pants on the table when the employee comes up to him and measure him up, revealing Bob’s waist size at a size 38, scratch that, size 39 and ended up to one of the fitting rooms with a pair of pants that is suitable for him in that size and begins to what could be a very long day for Bob when it comes to pants shopping and by himself. But it looks the whole pants shopping by himself thing doesn’t last long because it looks like Bob is not alone when it comes to the whole thing. Guess who’s also pants shopping over at the same store as him?
It’s none other than Sergeant Bosco of all people who is with Bob when it comes to pants shopping. So he too is not so much of a fan of pants shopping like Bob, who is here alone while Linda is busying ruining a man’s career in the book department with her hiccupping scenes and spoiling the damn book, talking about the style of pants that they are currently wearing and let’s face, the ones there are wearing doesn’t fit them. Not in the style of “Oh, these doesn’t fit me” blah, blah, blah. More in the line of Bob is really in need to get some style into him and with no Linda on his side, it looks like Bosco here will be volunteering to fill in her space with the whole pants shopping thing of the episode as he head out to find some pants that he can find for Bob.
And once the different pair of pants arrive and Bob trying out all of these pants, with these two guys wearing different pants and of course, have some thoughts about it. Mostly when it comes to everything about the different pair of pants from movement of the legs to the fit and not hoping that your stomach would flat out explode due to the size of the legwear. Even Bob was thinking of using the purple corduroys. Though him in wearing that when seeing at the end of the episode in the credits with him in those purple corduroys...yeah, you should probably go back to wearing the pants that you’re wearing in your usual character design. But besides all that, they decided to head out to another pants store following some issues that they found when it comes to the pants and stormed out but not before putting on the pants that they have before and head on to another store. Or stores as what we’re about to see could be something that you don’t ever seen before in this series, an obscure one in that in the form of the bromance between Bob and Sergeant Bosco.
And it’s the bromance of the series that people have foreseen in what could be one of the rarest and greatest bromances in the history of the show...and Gene and Zeke...and him and Alex...anyone really as Bob and Bosco went from pants store to pants store with Bob and Bosco, though mostly Bob in that montage of him in different pants, having champagne with Bosco and even feeling the fabric of the pants as the two are currently having the time of their lives. So uh...nothing said pants shopping like a restaurant owner and the town’s police sergeant and if you think we should get more of that in future episodes, hate to break it to y’all but since this is a sitcom, you already know what’s to come next in the form of a certain button being pressed enough like with Gene’s button on his ride. A bromance of the ages and it’s an obscure one in that too. So uh...that’s something to gloss over, though short, it was something and I do kind of like that with the idea of a certain bromance between both Bob and Bosco with them going pants shopping. Just don’t tell Teddy about this, trust me. Don’t want a repeat of what happened back in Season 6 with that episode with the whole dinner party fiasco. And thus here we are...
With the family back together again at the same spot where Tina’s little plot ended with Louise, Gene, Linda, and Bob meet up with Tina with Gene and Louise following the aftermath of the whole ride malfunction and Linda with a book in her hands and got the author’s signature with the saying “Stay away from him”, which she’ll take that as a compliment and then of course, there’s Bob...with pants with various patches across the leggings of the fabric like the pants have been torn into pieces, courtesy of his little misadventures with Bosco. Speaking of Bosco, he also have the same pants with patches like with Bob as he decided to call it a day and it looks like the Belchers get another hour at the mall, meaning it’s now going to be wash, rinse, repeat for the whole family. Don’t worry, we didn’t get to see it because the episode was already over with, so there’s that.
So all and all, what do I think about this week’s episode of Bob’s Burgers? Well...it was an okay one. Not that bad but also not that good as well. Want to say mediocre at best, mostly due to the some of the various plots of the episode that made it mediocre courtesy of the plots of Linda with her snooping in the bookstore and Tina coming in and ended up being a fake girlfriend of a sleepy Brian.
Out of the four plots for each of the family members of the Belchers, wanna say that Linda was the bad one mostly due to it being rushed and short but Tina’s little plot of her being the fake girlfriend, don’t know why but I sort of felt cringe out of nowhere when it comes to the idea of Tina having a sleepy guy as a boyfriend but of course, it’s Tina. It’s pretty much her character of her being boy crazy like a hunter in hunting season out in the woods. Though that kind of went coming from the whole thing with Brian’s friends thinking that Tina’s the victim of being two-timed even though she came up to him and it took Tammy and Jocelyn to end this charade. At least she prove her doubters wrong...so that’s a plus...I guess. Feel like the Tina/Jimmy Jr shippers pretty much drank themselves through the whole thing and this is written by someone who is known for getting these two a moment. This is satire, so put the pitchforks and rifles and illegal missile launchers you got from the black market down.
The Gene and Louise plot with them riding their animal rides on the mall almost seems like it was made to be going nowhere but it did kind of save itself from being the next subplot to downplay the episode in the form of the end of that with Louise cutting the wire of Gene’s ride following a malfunction with the brake button being mashed enough to cause a problem. And of course, that hug at the end when Louise finally cut the wire in time before knocking that one porcelain item from the table was cute. So I guess we’re pretty much even when it comes to the hug between Louise and Gene with Louise in “Large Brother, Where Fart Thou?” with Gene stepping up and take the fall against Logan and now with Gene after saving him from what could be a nightmare scenario of knocking the item down to the floor and break into pieces. But hey, nothing with that, really need more of that and this episode might as well be that, despite being short. But hey, we’ll take it. Nothing wrong with that and let’s hope we can more of that in future episodes.
Of course, the Bob plot seems somewhat enjoyable when it comes to him pants shopping on his own. Sure, he’s...something when it comes to pants shopping on his own since Linda abandoned ship to come sneaking herself into an open book read with the author of the book present, leaving him all alone when going pants shopping, yeah...don’t ever leave him doing that as what the end of the episode was doing Linda tagging along with Bob again. But the idea of Bob with Bosco going pants shopping was out of the blue but it was something to gloss over. A sudden bromance was something that I didn’t suspect to happen but we got it and it was good. Didn’t downplay the episode but it was good, even though it’s only for this episode and this episode only.
So all and all, it was a mediocre episode to return back from the break. The Linda plot of the episode seems like it went by incredibly fast and of course, being the shortest of the plots of this episode. The Tina plot...I have some issues with it, mostly when it comes to the climax of the episode. I mean, we all know that the whole thing with Tina being the fake girlfriend of that sleepy guy was going to fall apart but to have her to think that she’s the victim courtesy from two of his friends and of course, Yuli the Security Guard, nah fam. Nah. Just nah. Just be thankful that Tina proved Tammy wrong when it comes to her having some “mall game” to the point where both Tammy and Jocelyn went into full on panic mode. The Louise and Gene plot thought that it was going nowhere but it went somewhat somewhere and of course, the hug...bless. And the Bob and Bosco plot was something, would consider the fave of the episode. So I’mma give “Legends of the Mall”...
A low end 7 out of 10, just to play it safe. Would go down to like a 6, maybe a 6.5 out of 10 but the Bob and Bosco plot and the end of that Louise and Gene plot with the hug and Louise stopping the ride at the last possible moment pretty much gave it a 7 out of 10. But that’s just my opinion and now I want to hear yours. What do you think about this week’s episode? Do you like it? Do you hate it? Which one of the four plots from the Belchers do you like and/or dread? Do you think that Linda should deserve more? How do feel about whole Tina thing with her having a sleepy Brian being her “boyfriend”? Is the Bob and Bosco bromance come out as the Best Bromance of 2019? All that and your mini review in the comments down below! And don’t miss this Sunday’s episode on November 10 where it’s the return of Hawk & Chick but it looks like something maybe overshadowing it. Jeez, I wonder what ship could be that when seeing the caps of the upcoming episode and it may have “Bob Actually” written on it? I wonder which of these two people could do that? That and more in the sixth episode of Season 10, “The Hawkening: Look Who’s Hawking Now”.
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